Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Ed.... Don't Leave Me...

Ed! Don't leave me!!!! These words will echo in my mind for a very long time.
We admitted my mom to a nursing home today. She did not do well. Her screams could be heard throughout the building. When dad told her "he'd be back soon", I was the one closest to her. As he walked away, she found the strength to stand and start running after him. I was the only one close enough to hold her back as she yelled at the top of her worn out lungs, "Ed! Don't leave me!". I didn't know it could be so hard to hang on to a worn out 77 lb woman. But I did.
We have a St. Catherine at the home. She comforted all of us. She has called me 3 times to assure me mom is doing ok. I have gone there to "spy" on mom 3 times. Every time I checked in on her she was ok. Once she was eating, once walking with a nurse, and once just sitting alone. It is clear that dad cannot go back there - I don't know for how long. I am going to try to go by tomorrow. I think she is so used to me coming and going that she will be ok. It will be a test to see how she is going to do with visitors.
My dad? Well everyone handles things differently. He went home and immediately started doing things around the house that he has not been able to do for years. I think that is healthy. My brother is hovering over him and I think that is wrong. I think he needs to respect the strength this 85 year old has and back off. But I may be wrong.
So much has gone on today. I would have to write a book to tell it all. But the thing that stands out in my mind, and will for a very long time is the scream of... "Ed! Don't leave me!"
Me? I am at peace. I know she is safer than she was. I keep crying and am not sure if the crying is tears of happiness or sorrow. Probably tears of relief.
Anyway, just thanks everyone for your prayers, good wishes, comfort, etc. I love my chat friends and treasure you.


LadyStyx said...

Probably tears of a little of everything. *HUGZ*

sexy41 said...

Its so very hard what you have done punkn. Gives you a big hug. It will get better in time, for I know this and have gone through it.


Intense Guy said...

I think what Ladystyx said is so true.

It sounds like after the most difficult of beginnings - you all were adjusting in your own ways and in at your own speed. It's a huge adjustment. You, and both of your parents all have great strength.


Karla said...

*hugssssssssssss* You are a strong woman Punkn...it is hard but shed your tears when you need to. It will make you stronger.*hugs*

AliceKay said...

*sends a big hug to Punkn* We're all here for you. For moral support, if nothing else.

ChicagoLady said...

Although I'll never know what you have gone through, I think it was very brave of you to make that decision and follow through with it. And when your mom is in Heaven, and you see her again with all her faculties, she will agree with you. Hugs.

Lainie said...

I wish you all peace in your lives. I know this time may come for me and my family one day and I hope I have the strength that you have shown to do what is right.