Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Mom Update

It has been a bit since I've posted anything about mom and dad, so I thought maybe I should post a short update.
A week and 1/2 ago mom got up in the middle of the night and fell. She cracked a bone in her cheek (which they decided not to operate on), and generally bunged herself up. She looks like she was in a pretty horrific fight. I finally convinced dad and my brother that we have to put her in a home. It is such a hard decision, but in my heart I know it is the right one.
I'm not wanting to dwell on this, but all of my bloggy friends have been so wonderfully supportive, that I feel an update is deserved.
The Administrator of the Alzheimer's section, Katherine, visited mom today to evaluate whether they can accept her. After the evaluatiion, Katherine and I visited for quite a long time. We actually had a good cry together. She told me that mom was actually at the lower end of the criteria she has to use to accept patients. However, as she put it, she "...fell in love with mom's gentleness and how hard she was trying..." I think she also fell in love with the devotion of a couple who were married 60 years and now had to be separated, through no fault of their own. They do a 30 day evaluation of all patients and Katherine felt mom at least diserved the chance of fitting into the unit and is going to accept her.
So, I guess next week we will take that final step. This is by far the hardest thing I have EVER done in my life!

10 comments:

LadyStyx said...

*HUGZ*

Intense Guy said...

oWhat does "the lower end of the criteria she has" mean? - don't all of the patients there basically get to the same state of being?

*Hugs* You amaze me - withstanding the this burden. I'm very glad the grandchildren are there to bring you cheer and warmth - and that Jim is so supportive.

I just hope you are taking care of my good friend Punkn through out all of this.

ChicagoLady said...

Hugs to you Punkn. I know this is a very difficult time, but remember you have many friends willing to lend an ear or shoulder (even if virtually).

AliceKay said...

*sends Punkn a big hug* You know in your heart it's the right decision because it's what's best for the well being of your mom. I'll keep you all in my prayers.

Punkn said...

Good question, Iggy. The way I understand it, they have criteria for bringing them into the Alzheimer Unit. If they don't meet that criteria, they are brought into the other side of the facility, which mostly has people who are incontinent and unable to care for themseles in any way. I asked Katherine what happens when her patients progress to that point and she replied that they keep them if at all possible, rather than transfer them. By law, though, if they are put on any kind of life support, feeding tube, or develop medical conditions that cannot be handled by the Alzheimer unit, then they have to be transferred.
Thanks for your comments and hugz. I feel I am not strong at all. Tonight was especially bad. Some of what went on would have been funny if it wasn't so upsetting. It is wearing me plumb out. I'll probably blog about it sometime soon... for the humor aspect of it, not to get sympathy! lol

Karla said...

*hugsssssssssssss* We are here when you need to cry, laugh, vent, or whatever you feel like at the time. I know it's hard but you know it's the best for everyone concerned. *hugsssssssssssssssssssssssss* again

Lainie said...

Hugs is all I can say. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Ausgrl said...

I used to be a volunteer for red cross many years ago. We were assigned an elderly person to call at the same time every day for 1 month and then we would change over and have a new person. Rules were dont get personally involved, dont talk for hours to them and dont whatever you do give them your phone number or address. Well I broke all the rules.

One of the ladies on my rotation list was an alzheimers sufferer. She had no family call to visit her and they for some reason could not put her into a nursing home. I am not sure what that reason was. Probably financial most things come down to money but they kept her locked in her own home.
Anyway this day I called and no answer. As we were told to do I tried again 10 minutes later just in case she was on the toot. Anyway no answer again so I waited another 10 minutes then I called in to the Red Cross and waited to hear back from them and waited. After awhile I got impatient and called them asking what was happening. They still had not checked on the lady. I knew basically where she lived so I put my babies in the car and off we went looking for a lady we had never seen before. I was concerned she was hurt or worse. We knocked on a couple of doors and I found out that she lived only a few doors down from where I was also the lady there kept an eye on her and we went to the house together to see if she was in the house. The door was wide open and no one in sight. So we started walking the streets door knocking and trying to find her. About an hour passed and we walked past a motor mechanics who called us in. There sitting quite proudly on a nice comfy grease covered chair with a hot cup of tea was an adorable little old lady with beautiful white hair, wrapped in a mechanics blanket and stark naked underneath. She had merely gone for a walk. An ambulance arrived soon after and she was taken to hospital and then placed into a nursing home.

Punkn said...

What a touching story Aus. That could easily have been my mom. Last night mom was very upset with me because I wouldn't let her leave the house. She picked up a tennis shoe and I told her she couldn't put her shoes on - it was bed time. She told me she didn't plan on putting it on, she was going to throw it at me. I told her to go ahead, I would throw it right back to her. She grinned and put the shoe down lol.

Intense Guy said...

What a story Ausgrl! It's sad to see these people in "lock down" as they are really (usually) quite harmless - its just that they tend to meander off...

I'm glad someone cared enough to see that this women was ok. You did the right thing. :)

*Hugs Punkn*