WARNING - MIND DUMP POST!
My mind doesn't seem to want to shut down these days. Sometimes I wake during the night, still hearing the sounds of my mom screaming out to my dad as he left her in the nursing home :-( Other nights I grin as I think of squirrels and what they might do next :) Some nights I lay awake thinking about my kids and grandkids and their trials. I've been known to lay awake many a night thinking about the twelve years of Travis' dad ignoring him and now wanting him (and, no, nothing more has come of that - lots of "I'm going to do this" but no action). I lay awake thinking about our trip to Wisconson at the end of the month to see Snowman and Kris and what fun that will be. I think of things I should be doing around the house, or embroidery job deadlines... I think you get the point, I lay awake a lot, lol. It isn't all bad - but IT is keeping me awake!
So, I need to get focused.
I've been thinking about my mom and dad and what they have been going through over the past five or six years. Dad has been caring for a very sick wife for at least that long. And mom has fought her hardest to stay well. They walked three miles every day until she could no longer walk. They went out to meet family at McDonald's every day until it was just no longer possible. They went to weddings, funerals, family functions, and mom always did her best to pretend she knew people and knew what was going on. Often there were give aways that she might not be all there, like when she asked "who died?" at my cousin's wedding ;) But, the bottom line is even now they have not given up. They have stayed focused.
My children inspire me. They all three hold down full time jobs and are devoted to their families. They are active in their communities. They do what is right. I'd like to say they stay focused, but it is more like they are staying one step ahead of the game on most days. That is pretty good for young families.
Iggy inspires me. He is always there for many of us and knows the right things to say. And his drive to stay healthy is just amazing! He stays focused.
My friend, Rita, inspires me. We have been friends for over 30 years - having met while working at the State Attorney General's Office. We have very similar lives, incomes, etc. Yet, her house, car, everything is paid for. She is debt free. Why? Because she has stayed focused.
Me? I'm all over the place! That is probably why I'm not sleeping well. I'm not focused. That changes today.
I got up early and ate a bowl of oatmeal. Did a load of laundry and took off walking. I'd like to say I walked 8 miles (like someone we all know), but I only walked 2 1/2 miles. But I WALKED! And I will walk again tomorrow, and the day after that, and each day after that. I am going to stay focused.
I've wanted to lose a little weight - less than 20 lbs., but do you think I can do that? Heck no. I've not been focused. I know what I'm doing wrong - I eat healthy meals and then snack when I get the munchies at night and see that commercial for ice cream, pizza, or whatever. That changes today. NO MORE SNACKS! I'm gong to stay focused.
The other area I'm going to get focused on is money. We don't have money problems compared to many. We are both retired with good retirement incomes. We both hold down part-time jobs and I bring in a little more on the side with my embroidery business. Frankly, with the income we have, I should not have to ever think about money. But I do. Why? Because I've not been focused. I don't stop to think about all the STUFF I buy that I don't need. My friend, Rita, loaned me a book that most of you have probably heard of - Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey (www.daveramsey.com) Jim and I have both read the book decided to implement his plan together. We are going to stay focused and will be debt free in a very short time. And that doesn't mean we have to do without. It just means we will have a plan. We will still take our trip to Wisconsin at the end of this month, our cruise to the Bahamas in January (mostly because we've already paid for almost all of it and have saved money for the rest). I'm really looking forward to working together on this.
Many of you know that I have a health problem or two. In December it will be FIVE years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy. In May it will be FIVE years since I finished my chemo treatments. So far, so good! I also have Lupus. That has been a roller coaster ride but it has been under control for quite a few months now. That is the one area I have done a pretty good job of staying focused on - my health. But if I stay focused on all other areas of my life, then my health will improve too. It all goes hand in hand.
The other area I need to stay focused is with my mind. I need to meditate more, pray more, and write more. Since I was a little girl, I have always kept journals. I literally have a cedar chest full of journals (hmmm it might be fun to pull some of them out and post the ramblings of a young girl lol - get focused now punkn...). Don't be surprised if my blogs start containing ramblings. When I do that, you can just roll your eyes and move along.
If anyone actually made it to the end of this rambling, I will be surprised. But, like I've said before, "It's my blog, and I'll bore you if I want to..."
Have a great day and know that I appreciate my blog friends.