I play a card game, PoKeNo, with a group of other ladies once a month. It is a mindless card game that I refer to as glorified BINGO, but I'm not going to go into an explanation of the card game because that isn't what this post is about. The game bores me to tears but I go to keep active and socialize.
Our group is a rather odd mix of women. One of my best friends, Rita, brought us all together a little over a year ago. The core group of five have been golfing buddies for years (I've tried golfing with them, but it's definitely not my cuppa tea). They have traveled together and get together as couples quite often. Then there is Deb, who doesn't golf with them but her husband sometimes does and she socializes with them. Then there is Rita's sister and me. I've known all of these ladies enough to say hello for over 20 years, so this mix has worked out fine for me. Often the conversation turns to golf or a dinner out and I feel a little on the outside but it has never really bothered me - until last night. Last night four of the golfing group, Rita's sister and I were there.
One of the ladies, Nicki, (part of the golfing group) had lost her brother to cancer two weeks ago (I sent her a sympathy card at the time). She wasn't sure whether she was going to come, but showed up at the last second. It was obvious she was still struggling but it was also obvious that the evening was good for her. The silliness and laughter took her mind off her sorrow for a time.
Just as we were all getting ready to leave, Rita came out of her bedroom with a beautiful spray of flowers for Nicki, with a card attached. Of course Nicki broke down and cried and said "Thank you all". But the bouquet was not from all of us - it was from the golfing group. I felt horrible. I would have loved to have gone in on a gift! And now it looks like I chose not to. It looks like I don't care! They gave it to her at a PoKeNo get together - it is only right that it should have been from the PoKeNo group. I didn't even give Nicki a hug because it would have looked like I had gone in on the gift. And on the other side of the room Rita's sister was doing the same thing I was - looking on from a distance, not saying a word.
It takes a whole lot to hurt my feelings - it really does. But I am so totally hurt right now. I thought about calling Rita and telling her how I feel but I can't do that because I'll cry and I'm not going to cry! I thought about sending her an email saying much of what I've said here. And I've thought about saying screw it and quit PoKeNo. I don't really like the game and I'm tired of having the "I'm on the outside looking in" feeling.
Am I over-reacting? Am I being petty? What would you do? I really want to know...