Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Destinations

As I stared out of my dad’s hospital room window yesterday, I considered the dismal view of an asphalt rooftop and all the ugly but necessary stuff you’d expect to find there – such as air conditioning units.  The view matched my mood.

View of rooftop from hospital room window

But then my eyes were drawn past the immediate ugly view to what lay beyond.  I saw green trees and destinations.  We all have destinations.  Some are fun and some are not.  These two signs are ironic.  Staring at me was a destination for fun – the Lake of the Ozarks and next to it a destination for day to day life – Business 50. 

007

We all are faced with decisions every day of our lives and those decisions take us to a destination.  My dad spent his life making decisions – some of them very difficult.  And I know he always tried to make the right decisions.  He is now facing his final destination.  I know in my heart that his final destination is going to be one of happiness with God.

We moved dad to the “Palatable Care Unit” of the hospital this morning.  We are no longer going to torture him with blood tests, brain scans, tummy scans, blood pressure checks… We are going to be with him, love him, and make sure he is in no pain. 

 

I will have to admit it,  I am incredibly weary - and I am glad I am.  I know we are all doing all that we can and when God finally takes him, there will be no regrets.

Thank you everyone for all of your kind words, prayers, and support.  It means more than you can know. 

And Jewelz you are one special daughter.  Thank you for your posts about Grandpa and for the most recent one about me.  Once again, I shed tears.  Love you hun. 

Someday soon I will find the time and energy to comment on blogs again.  In the meantime – THANK YOU!

12 comments:

junyah said...

GIve Deanna the biggest of hugs , i know how your feeling hun, thats ok too. you have the right.I was at Togus hospital yesterday,its a V/A hospital and i was there for me , and to see my neigboor that lived across the street from me. He was a Navy Seal in Veit Nam and was short up pretty bad back then,lost both his legs that kinda thing. (Long story)Hes in there and lying on his back stareing at the ceiling and its a matter of time for him. Haveing to go see anybody in that state of being is the hardest times ive had to do.I had to my sister,and my father in-law.Its not easy..Love ya punkn..Jr

Intense Guy said...

*Hugs*

His destination surely will be one we all aspire to reach someday.

For those that remain behind - there is little comfort to be found in words - I hope you get some rest and some peace of mind, Deanna.

I am reminded of this quote, "Look around you today. Whom have you not told how much they matter? Tell them now, while you can."

You and your daughter have surely done that - and in the best of ways.

sexy41 said...

Hugs to you Deanna.

I don't really know what you are going through with losing a parent. I do know how it feels to loose a grandparent, aunts, uncles, nephews etc. But I know loosing a parent is very hard. I feel for you. He will be going to a great place with God and your Mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Tobi

PetalsYoga said...

Deanna,
Thinking of you and wishing I had just the right words. I'm so sorry for all that you & your dad have gone through. I can only say that I'm praying the next steps are painless & freeing for your dad. I also pray that you can still see the beauty of what lies beyond the sometimes heavy, gray present.

Hugs and warmest regards,
Jan

Tori_z said...

*Hugs*

The Wife O Riley said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers Deanna.

I hope that your father's journey is both painless and full of love.

MarmiteToasty said...

((((Deanna)))) sounds like he did good on the road to his destination..

Iggy your quote is beautiful.... Deanna Iggy YOU matter very much in my life...

hugs deanna to you, your dad and your family...

x

AliceKay said...

Your father is lucky to have such a loving family surrounding him during this difficult time. It's hard for me to find the words I'd like to say here, but I'm pretty sure your dad will be happy to join your mom in a place where there is no pain and no sorrow. There is only happiness and peace. God bless each and every one of your family, Deanna. *hugs*

LadyStyx said...

*HUGZ*

Lainie said...

Know that your father will always be in your heart, right beside your mother. Draw comfort from that and having your wonderful family and friends right there along with you.
Hugs

Queenie Jeannie said...

Hugs to ya hun!! You know you are doing the right thing.....and yet it's still hard.

I know those books will help.

More hugs!!!

Spruce Hill said...

Over For a visit.Sending you prayers. I liked what you said about detinations and choices we make in our lives. Some desinations are unplanned, they are the ones that teach us the most.