Thursday, September 10, 2009

Scoped

Today was one of those days.  You know, a day when you need to do things you don’t really want to do. 

Hubby had to have what has turned into an annual colonoscopy.  He keeps developing polyps and they keep removing them.  Sure wish we could figure out what he is doing to fertilize those little suckers!

We drove into town through the foggy Missouri River bottom.  It was a nice high fog, not the thick pea soup kind of fog that we often experience during the early morning hours here.

Even with the fog, we got to the hospital plenty early.  They checked him in, asking all the appropriate questions (of things already in their computer) and then sent us on down the hall so Jim could humiliate himself in one of those oh so cute don’t move or your tushe will be exposed robes. 

 

Hospitals have a unique smell and sound.  I listened to the beep, beep of the monitors that was coming from behind each and every curtained area.  The nurses wear tennies or the rubber crocks that have become so popular.  Sneaking up on a person is no problem for them.  And each of them have a little cart that holds a little computer to tap in all the personal history information that should already be there since you gave it all to them only a year ago.  In this day and age, I’ll  never understand why they can’t just say “I have your records from last year, has anything changed?” 

But heck, they were sweet as pie and it doesn’t hurt to answer all their questions. 

Nurse:  Has any of your mom and dad’s medical history changed?

Jim:  No, mom still has Alzheimer's and dad is still dead (he can be somewhat of a smart ass at times)

Kim, a good friend of ours works in Outpatient Surgery.  As they were rolling hubby down the hallway to have unspeakable things done to him, Kim came over and gave me a big hug.  Have I ever mentioned how wonderful hugs are?  There is nothing better.  She kind of grinned and said, “I told them Jim is a good friend and I didn’t want to hear his personal history and I sure as heck didn’t want to see his hiney”.  Did I mention Kim is a good friend?

Now I had 45 minutes or so to kill.  So I closed my eyes and listened.

Somewhere I heard a little one cry.  Not a baby type cry, more like a toddler.  And I had to wonder what type of tests or surgery was this little one facing and why?  I hope it is nothing serious.  Then I heard the soft voice of her mommy singing “Little rabbit foofoo, hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice…”  In my mind I could envision her holding up two fingers and bouncing them as the bunny hops through the field and then scooping them down.  Then I thought, what a strange song to sing to calm a child down.  I mean think about it, the rabbit is abusing the mice and the good fairy ultimately turns the rabbit into a goon.  But who am I to judge?  The child must have been fascinated by the two fingers bopping around because she quieted down to contented silence.

As I walked around the area to get a cup of coffee, I noticed one curtained area had 3 or 4 people hovering around.  I thought to myself, “this one has to be a lot more than a simple colonoscopy”.  Mentally I said a little prayer of thanks and good wishes to all the others.

In no time they had hubby back with me, safe and sound and groggy as hell.  Doc came in and said “yep, once again we removed polyps, see you next year” (or something like that).

Have you ever watched a drunk trying to get dressed?  It really is funny.  By the time I had propped him back up several times, it was time to weave our way back out onto the streets, with an attendant following along to make sure Jim didn’t take a nose dive between the hospital bed and the car door.  So far so good.

Did you notice that I spared you the details of the day before colonoscopy preparations?  You’re welcome.  All I will say about that is, hubby was famished by this time.  So we stopped at Country Kitchen for breakfast.  After several cups of coffee, and a chicken fried steak type breakfast, (and me reminding him to sit up and stay awake) we headed for home.

Hubby did the head rolled back, mouth open, with the occasional snort back to reality thing all the way home.  I do love that man lol.  At one point he came back to reality long enough to say “wow  that was great, the colors were so vivid!” and then he was out again.  Darn it, I want some of what he’s smoking.

So here it is with the morning not even over and I feel like I’ve put in a full day! 

 

OH      MY     GOSH     I just looked up from my typing and saw something move.  Sweet.  It is our family of deer, mom and her twins, come to visit.  They have been foraging for heavens knows what in our orchard of two cherry trees (we had big plans at one time but you know how that goes.)  They are probably eating the lower branches of the trees.  Maybe I shouldn’t be so happy to see them?

A doe and 2 fawns off in the distance.

Do you see them in amongst the trees there?  (makes a mental note to wash my windows)

 deer walking around the orchardI’m still in my office snapping the shutter and think, I’ll bet I can sneak onto the front porch and get a close up.

Now I couldn’t make this next part up if I tried.  I carefully open the squeaky front door (another mental note, grease door hinges) to sneak outside for my photo opportunity.

A squirrel in the exact place the deer were

Charlie?  Where did you come from?  Where are my deer?  Have I mentioned that the squirrels have taken over?  Well, they have!

16 comments:

Funny in my mind said...

I am so glad everything went well! "my dad is still dead" I would have said something like that haha Your choice of a breakfast place amuses me. Yes, the coffee is good. I drink it every single day.

Funny in my mind said...

I gave you an award!
You deserve it so take it and post it or not.

AliceKay said...

I hope everything checks out okay with the testing of the polyps. When Terri had his colonscopy last year, they sent in a couple for testing. He was fine. I have to have that test done before the end of the year but I've been putting it off. I really shouldn't wait much longer.

The pictures were great. The doe is protecting her young very well. Imagine having a Charlie pop up into that last pic. Cool!

One doe that we watch here in our fields in the evening has twins. And even though I've never posted the pics like I'd intended, I have some great close ups of a doe and her fawn that were taken when they were right here by our place. We have a lot of coyotes around here now so not sure how many of those fawns are left. The coyotes were out there in the fields yipping and screaming away Saturday night, and they sounded way too close for comfort. :\

Intense Guy said...

I'm still smiling at the little rabbit foo-foo. You know, after all this time, I still don't know what a goon is?

I hope Jim enjoys his "Nyquil-like far-out-man" haze and wakes up feeling like a new man, albeit polyps-free.

I think the Mask Magician on "Magic's Greatest Secrets Revealed" will have to do a segment explaining the Deer to Charlie trick!

Huge hugs -

Leah said...

I hope your husband is feeling okay after the colonoscopy. I've never had one, but I heard they are no fun!

Snappy Di said...

Cutest dang post I've read all day. Made me giggle.

Di

Tori_z said...

Hope Jim is back in reality soon, and that any tests that got done come back with good results. :)

It's amazing what can make a person feel better. The calming effect of that song was more to do with its familiarity than anything I expect.

PictureGirl said...

LOL. I am laughing at your husband only because I have to go for a colonoscopy on a regular basis. Like him it was once a year, changed my diet and it became every 3 years. Last fall I got the good news after the procedure I can go to every 5 years.

I commend you for writing about it on your blog. This procedure, while not being my fav thing to do, is really no big deal. I would encourage anyone who needs one to go for it. It can save your life. It saved mine. I honestly dread going to the dentist more.

Your pictures of the deer are great, and the little squirrel, while they can be annoying, is good too. They are both fun to watch.

Hope everything goes well on your husbands test and hope he's back to his old self, hee hee hee, still laughing about his dad comment.

Karla said...

I get that feeling every month when I go to my painmanagement doctor..He gives me that powerful sedative before he starts sticking needles in my back...thank God!! Half the time I don't even remember the ride home!

I miss the country only because in the city we don't see deer and coyotes..but we have plenty of charlies..and skunks, and coons...don't know where they hide out but they are always dead on the city streets...:-(

jewelzmomof4 said...

LOL poor Dad I know he really hates that procedure. He is lucky to have such a wonderful wife by his side. I love your posts mom you are so imaginative in how you tell a story. Why didn't I get that gift? I miss living in the woods and seeing the wild life just walking around and not running from moving vehicles like I see here lol. Hope Dad is back to his normal self.

Deanna said...

Funny - the pieces to the puzzle are starting to fall into place in the fuzzy mind of mine. I might check out some coffee at Country Kitchen again real soon.
Thanks for the awards - I'll post them soon. Not deserving, but hey - I'll take it!

AK - just don't put it off. This one test that really can save your life. I'm looking forward to seeing you deer pictures. I'll bet you got a closer up shot than I did.

Iggy - I cannot get Little Rabbit FooFoo out of my mind now, no matter what! You can imagine the double take when I walked out my front door and saw a squirrel instead of three deer.

Leah - Thanks hun - He is fine and really the colonoscopy is not that bad. The prep for it is the worst part of it.

Di - I'm glad I was able to make you giggle. Good to see you snooping around again!

Tori - I think you are right about the song - the familiarity and the singysongy way did the trick.

PictureGirl - I am wondering how much broccoli I can feed that man! You are right about how important it is. Like the Dr. said, there is no reason anybody should ever get colon cancer - they just have to have the test done on a regular basis.

Karla, I'd be envious about the good drugs you get, but I think I'll pass on the pain you endure on a regular basis. Huggsssss. Living in the country has definite advantages, but I definitely still see the road kill too :(

Julie dear - you have the gift! I've read your posts. I've just been bullsh/ errrr I mean telling stories a lot longer than you have. I'm not sure dad thinks I'm such a wonderful wife after reading today's blog, though!

Anonymous said...

You can add me to the list of regular screenings. It's every 6 months for me. In December when the next one is due, it will be number 4 within 13 months. The prep is definately the worst. The doctor and the staff there are really nice and the drugs don't last long at all (unfortunately) lol. I am going to email you pictures of MY deer. We have a doe here that had triplets. I feed the doe bread. When I see them out by the crabapple tree in the backyard, I open the door and throw out a couple pieces of bread then go back in. I'll watch out the window and in a few minutes mom is up there eating it. The fawns like laying in the yard in front. One night they were right in front of the porch laying down. There was a dead fawn in the road next door a bit today. I pulled it out of the road to the shoulder. Poor thing. At least it wasn't one of the triplets.

Queenie Jeannie said...

So glad your husband is back home and none the worse for wear. I would say he deserves the "cool drugs" after what he had to go through!!!! They say that the prep is worse than the precedure, but I don't know....both sound highly unpleasant!

I'm glad you got to see your dear and a bonus Charlie too!

LadyStyx said...

Oh dear...every year? Poor guy. Next thing you know, the dr will be referring to it as the annual harvest...

ChicagoLady said...

Today must be Colonoscopy day! One of our salesmen at work, had a colonoscopy done today. No joke, he put it on his faxed itinerary that he faxes to my boss every week. Friday: Colonoscopy. We all got a good laugh about that, like we REALLY wanted to know that's what he was having done? Doctor wasn't good enough? LOL

Glad Jim survived it non the worse for wear, and hope the test results are negative.

The magical deer-to-charlie trick, been practiced for ages but never perfected, until now! The hardest part is going back to deer from charlie.

I probably should go look up the full lyrics too the Little Bunny Foo Foo song, because all I know is up to the part where he bops the field mice on the head. That's not such a bad thing, is it?

sexy41 said...

I so laughed at your story. I can so just imgaine Jim all drugged like walking around. Can't believe he ate right after that being done to him. Am glad everything went good. Loved the pictures of the deer. You live in such a beautiful place.