Thursday, July 29, 2010

You Ain’t Woman Enough…

While visiting Jim’s mom at the nursing home yesterday, one of the residents took a definite liking to my man.  The melody from the old Loretta Lynn song You Ain’t Woman Enough to Take My Man actually flashed through my mind.

Here is how the conversation went (yelling across the room):

Hussy:  What’s your name?

My man:  Jim

Hussy:  Are you married?

My man:  Sure am

Me:  I’m his wife

Hussy:  How come all the good looking ones are always taken?

Me:  (to Jim with tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks) You’d better be nice or I’m going to tell her that you’re up for grabs.

Mom:  She’s just an ol’ hussy

Hussy:  What’s your telephone number

My man:  You’ll have to ask her (pointing to me)

Hussy:  Are you married?  You sure are good lookin’…

My man:  I feel like a piece of meat!

The whole place is in stitches by this point.  One of the attendants finally took matters into her own hands and walked the hussy out, while she muttered the whole way about all the good ones are already taken….

I’ll bet you didn’t know a visit to a nursing home could be so entertaining. 

15 comments:

Snappy Di said...

Oh my gosh... I am so laughing at this. Nursing homes need laughter and she certainly gave you some.

Di

A. K. said...

The song sure does suit the situation.. LOl..

Intense Guy said...

Hey... old people have "needs" too...

(Just ask JunYah!)

:)

Osage Bluff Quilter said...

Oh gosh, is my Mom up to no good again?!?! too funny.

~Tonia said...

LOL! Your poor hubby being harrassed in a Nursing home!

jewelzmomof4 said...

LOL I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! I think my favorite part is Grandma calling her a Hussy!!!!!! LOL That's My Grandma!!!!!

Lynn said...

LOL that is so funny, bless their hearts but the elderly can sure make ya laugh sometimes. I remember one time my step mother used to sit with elderly people in nursing homes and when I stopped by to see my step mother one day the little lady that she was watching said she was waiting for the train, I told her the train wasnt coming today and she looked at me and real fierce like told me I better shut up or she would slap my face, I just kindly moved away and didnt say another word about her train LOL

I hope you are having a good week HUGS

Nezzy said...

Glory girl, seems they're all after our guys....even in the 'home.' My sides are achin' here and big old laugh tears are streaming down my face. This was great!

You have yourself a terrifically blessed day.

Stay cool....heeehehehe...see, I can be funny too! :o)

Flat Creek Farm said...

Too funny! Yes, indeed, nursing home humor can be the absolute best. -Tammy

AliceKay said...

This post cracked me up. LOL (poor Jim...LOL)

Rural Rambler said...

Deanna this post cracked me up and brightened my day today! "You Ain't Woman Enough..." Love it!!

The Farmer's Daughter said...

That is funny...:) All too often, humor is hard to find in those facilities where so many are suffering from old-age dementia and a host of other problems and don't know what they are saying or make sense a lot of the time. My own dad was that way in his last years. But he did crack us up when he referred to where he was living as "wrinkle city" and called the other residents "old skins" as if he weren't one of the oldest ones there!

Take care...and keep a close eye on your man in case that hussy gets his number...:)

Cheryl (who is still laughing)

Toriz said...

LMAO!

Rita said...

Warning: X-rated comment--hehe!

I had friends who worked in nursing homes and they always had trouble with finding the residents sneaking into each others beds at night! No lie! And with the old men grabbing at the young nurses, too! They had all kinds of stories to tell me.

But I beat them all when I had on-the-job training at a nursing home for my Human Services Tech course. These two male nurses complained in the employee's lounge about how they had this married couple who shared a room and they'd push the buzzer frantically when he got excited. The guys had to push their beds together so she could kind of climb, roll over onto his bed and then they had to "help" the husband roll on top of her--leave--and come back when they pressed the buzzer!!! I thought they were making it up. But they weren't kidding! It happened one afternoon when I was working! No shame with the old and horny, I guess, eh? ROFLMAO!!!

AliceKay said...

LMAO @ Rita's story.