Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Can you ear me now?

Whiskey's earWho wants to hear about my troubles?  I didn’t think so.  But this blog is about me, and it is my method of documenting what is going on in my life.  So, this post, as much as I don’t want to write it, needs to be written.  Feel free to skim over it – I’ll totally understand – because I’m mostly writing this for me.

Over three weeks ago I started getting severe ear aches.  After a false start with an incompetent Dr., the cause was diagnosed as a yeast infection by a well respected Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist.  He treated it in the office, warning me that it would take time to clear up, and sent me home with an anti-fungal cream.

The pain has continued to the point of insanity.  Along with the pain I now have a constant ringing (Iggy, how have you put up with this all these years?) and almost total hearing loss. 

The good news is that I no longer hear Jim snore if I lay with my bad ear towards the sky.  The bad news is that he is not so lucky.  He still has to put up with my snoring.

Yesterday, I returned to my specialist.  Now that some of the infection is cleared up, he could see for sure what he already suspected - a perforated ear drum.

Okay – that would explain the sharp stabbing pains, constant throbbing, ringing… and on and on.

Dr. Marty is giving it a week on another ear drop to see if there is improvement.  I could tell from his body language that he doesn’t hold out much hope. 

If he doesn’t see improvement next Tuesday, then we are looking at an MRI and referral to a Dr. in St. Louis that specializes in only ears – and probably surgery.

I had questions. 

What caused the infection.  “There is no way to know for sure” 

Did the infection cause the perforation?  “There is no way to know for sure.  It could be the other way around – the tear in the ear drum could have caused the infection”

How did my ear drum get perforated?  “There is no way to know for sure.  It is possible that the injury is from child hood or it could be new.” 

Will my hearing loss be permanent?  “It is very possible.  Surgery may help.” 

I had tons more questions, but it finally made it through my thick scull that he really didn’t know what the future would hold and I just need to stay tuned for next week’s appointment.

In the meantime, I’m scared.  We don’t appreciate our senses until we lose use of them.  A number of my blog friends deal with the permanent loss of senses.  Two quickly come to mind:  Intenseguy, who is able to relate to my current fear on a very “intense” level, since he has been battling with this very issue forever.  Tori lives in a world of total darkness.  She has faced her fears and challenges with bravery and strength that I can only dream of. 

Here is to all my friends who are faced with day to day challenges of mind and body – that you find the strength to stay strong and continue facing the challenges of each new day with a smile on your face.

 thorns

This current challenge may be a thorn in my side, but I promise you that I will come out of it smelling like a rose, no matter what the final outcome.  It can only win if I let it.  I actually found myself asking the question, “Why me Lord” and immediately responded, “Why not me…”  God will never give me a challenge greater than I can handle.

a rose

17 comments:

April Mechelle said...

Deanna, Prayers going out for you. My daugther just went through something similar. She had bad pain. Ear infection, Tubes puts in, tubes had to be removed. Scar tissue grown over. She has lost some hearing, but she says can live with that, the pain is what was bad. As long as no pain she will be fine. Praying for you!

Toriz said...

I never skip reading friends' blog posts. I even skim through the picture filled posts (in case there's any text for me to read). Sometimes it takes me a few days to get back to posts, but I always read them (even if I don't comment).

*Hugs*

UI'm sorry you're having to deal with it. You can't truely appreciate how scary it is to lose one of your senses until you are faced with the prospect of losing one of them. And it's only then that people realise that they have been taken their senses for granted.

I hope you find that surgery will help. But, if not, then... Well, just remember that your friends are here for you when fears and tears are making you feel afraid and alone. And, also remember that your friends are always willing to lend a shoulder whenever you need one!

Also, you have my e-mail address if you ever want to have a more private discussion!

*Hugs*

GardenofDaisies said...

I hope that you get good news when you visit the doctor next week. And thank goodness it is only the one ear.
We do take our health for granted until someone gets sick and we are reminded of how quickly it can all change.
Hugs to you.

~Tonia said...

I am sorry! Having dealt with ear infections a perforated ear drum is not fun but does heal. The ringing is irritating abd last year I thought this is it I wll be deaf in at least one ear as I couldnt get nothing done for it and had no money to keep going to the doctor. But it did heal up and I found out the major cause and have been able to avoid a repeat of the last 2 years this year.
I hope you get answers and healing.

Lynn said...

Im so sorry Punkn, and I sure hope that your next appt. the doctor doesnt sound like a repeat. Any kind of pain is tough to live with so I sure hope whatever they have to do for your ear that all goes smoothly and quickly for you, I will add you in my prayers HUGS

AliceKay said...

Your friends will read your blog no matter what. It's just the way it is. *hugs*

I'm really sorry you're having this problem with your ear. I hope when you go back for your appointment next week, things will have improved. But if not, and you face surgery, I'm sure you will get thru it with that smile on your face and your pure determination. Adversity...it makes us stronger, or so I hope. *hugs again*

Funny in My Mind said...

I hate to hear that you have been in such pain, my friend.
I also hate it when you go to a doctor for answers and get "there is no way to know" for an answer.
I hope you find the answers and your eardrum heals soon!
I am praying for you that you regain your hearing.

Intense Guy said...

Hugs Punkn tight... I always want to know what is going on in your world, the good, bad, and the ugly...

I was reminded what you told me Jopete used to say about growing old(er)... and he was right.

I hope they can help you recover the hearing in the one ear. Hopefully the other ear is ok? They can do wonderful things with surgery now - implants and the works... what I hope most for, however, is that your pain, fear, and the noise in your head goes away.

We humans are remarkable adaptive and resilient when we want to be... You might be discouraged becuase you've had a long, and very hard battle and think your plate has been full enough and more is "unfair". I think so too. I admire you and the way you conquered cancer. I admire you anyway... you've a heart of gold and "soul" that I'm thrilled to know.

If you have ever seen Aunt of 14's comments on my blog, you've seen someone that is totally deaf. Her struggle is worse than mine - and Tori just endlessly amazes me. I've done nothing special - it took years of audiological training classes to learn how to lip read and I fought going to those classes tooth and nail. I got educated anyway.

*Hugs you again* Be strong and brave - and persistent.

Rita said...

My heart goes out to you, Deanna! It is frustrating when the doctors can't give you answers, but sometimes they just honestly don't know.

I haven't known you a long time, but it sounds like you have had a lot to deal with already. Maybe it is more overwhelming because it is "another" issue to deal with--even moreso than the single issue itself, you know? That has happened to me. Too many straws on the camel's back. Wish I could lighten the load for you. :):)

I hope things go well and they can find something to help with your hearing. Please let us know. You have some wonderful friends and I can almost feel the prayers wending their way to you. Add mine. :):)

That corgi :) said...

(((Deanna)) I'm so sorry for all your ear problems and I hope you get answers when you see the ear specialist. I think putting your faith in God and knowing he knew about this even before it happens helps keep things in perspective that he will be walking right alongside you as you journey this road ahead; keeping you in my prayers

betty

Steve Skinner said...

Know that you have been remembered in prayer!

Rural Rambler said...

Deanna! Goodness!! I am sorry you are having to deal with this. Ear pain is just awful. Awful. I had problems with my ears closing up for about five years and I felt as though I was living inside a bass drum. It made me jittery, no pain though. One day I just realized that it had gone away. I will be praying for you and I am hoping you get some answers, get it treated and get back to normal and no worries with it.

junyah said...

I have a saying that goes, Let Go and Let God. I have helped many a service man and women that have or had some kind of hearing loss, by getting them to the right places and they have gotten hearing help like hearing aids and in some case's Compensation to go with it. I can only imgime what it must be like ,i have a ringing in my ears from time to time and since i started reading this i can hear it now. lol, i worry about my heart giving out, i know that someday its going to give me trouble again,but i don't dwell on it.Gives you all my best . Hugs U JR

spacegirl60 said...

Deanna,
My daughter grew up with constant ear issues. At 13 she was finally old enough to get the tear in her eardrum repaired. For her, it was a simple proceedure. Yes, she needs it done again but it helped her out a lot. Some hearing loss because of all the ear infections but she is doing really good. Well, she's 31 now.

I hope your proceedure goes just as well and you will be out of pain soon. Good luck!

Arlene/spacie

The Farmer's Daughter said...

Hi Deana,

I'm so sorry for the ear problems you're having. I pray that you'll get the help you need and soon. I've had ringing and noises in both my ears for several years now. And I don't hear as well, esp. in my left ear. The labrynthitis I had years ago was a cause for some of this. I try to ignore it as best as I can, but some days it's hard!

You have a good attitude about this and I know you won't let it get you down. Your friends are here for you and will be praying for you.

Hugs,
Cheryl

MarmiteToasty said...

*cupping hands around my mouth and shouting* I HOPE ALL GOES WELL NEXT WEEK COS THERE IS NO WAY IM LEARNING BLOODY INTERNET SIGN LANGUAGE :)

seriously though, I will keep you in my thoughts (not that your far away even though I aint been around)(my own shit to deal with) and I'll be sending you wonderful love filled vibes in the hope that things improve over the coming weeks.....

x

LadyStyx said...

Oh dear. *HUGZ*!