I've been spending my time labeling posts so I can make some rhyme or reason out of things when I begin choosing posts to include in the blog book Tess and Bill gave me for Christmas. I so wish I had used labels when I first began blogging. Shame on me!
As I (rather slowly) have been backtracking, I come across drafts that were never published. Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night with a head full of thoughts and write a few sketchy phrases on my computer and then go back to bed. And then the next morning I find myself scratching my head, thinking "where was I going with that thought"?
I came across this post entitled "Now I Know" that I started over a year ago. Here is what it said:
never understood why mom would tell me when a cousin of hers I didn't know died
over 100 cousins both sides
now I know why
It didn't take me long to figure out where I was going with these thoughts.
Although my immediate family is not large - two brothers and one sister, their kids, spouses, and of course my own husband, kids, spouses, grandkids, etc. The numbers quickly begin adding up, but they are nothing compared to really large families. My parents came from families with 8 and 13 children. The number of relatives is huge. I have hundreds of cousins. Many I no longer know. I could pass them on the street and not recognize them. But that doesn't mean I don't care. I know of them and I mourne them when they die.
And that is where the thoughts of this post started. Quite a few aunts and uncles and a number of cousins have passed away over the past few years. This includes my own dear parents. When someone dies, I always feel compelled to call my children and tell them. For the most part they don't know these people, other than sometimes with a faint recollection. When I tell them somebody died, they say things "What did she look like?" or "Was he the one..."
My own mother would always call me when one of her Aunts or Uncles or Cousins would die. And I was like "Was she the one..." And I would wonder,"Why is she telling me about these people I've only heard of and don't know?" And now I know. It is because they are important. They are part of our heritage. They are relatives, whether we "know" them or not.
So to my dear children, the next time I call you to tell you that someone you don't know died, just smile or act saddened (whichever feels right at the time ) and indulge me. I do believe it is just something that a generation must do when they get to this time in their life. Just wait. It will be your turn next - and your own kids can roll their eyes at you.
Another thought now pours through my head. The numbers continue to decrease. Where I had hundreds of first cousins, my own children have 12 first cousins. Their children already have more than that, but not by much. Is this a good thing (reducing the population of the earth)? Or a bad thing? I have no answers. Just questions - and a compelling need to pass unnecessary informataion on to my children. Love you guys!