Thursday, May 3, 2012

UPS Sense of Humor

Every once in a while I receive a "funny" in my email that is too good to not share.  This is one of them.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way,
UPS is the only major cargo airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics..

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.


Funny in My Mind said...

I am at the doctor with Randy and we had a good laugh over these!!

carol fun said...

These are hilarious! thanks for the laugh!

AliceKay said...

P: Mouse in cockpit.S: Cat installed.


April said...

I am still laughing at the midget with a hammer one!!! Thank you!!!

That corgi :) said...

LOL with the mouse in the cockpit, cat installed :) All too funny; glad they have a bit of a sense of humor :)


Queenie Jeannie said...

That was hysterical!!!! Thanks for sharing it! Started my day off just right! Hugs!!!

Cheryl @ The Farmer's Daughter said...

This is too funny! I especially laughed at that last one!!
It's been storming here this morning, we sure don't need more rain. :( Hope you have a nice weekend!

Toriz said...

LMAO! Love those!

Toriz said...

P.S. Giveaway at my place; see yesterday's post (titled "A is for Anouncement").

Intense Guy said...

Hey! Who took my hammer!!!

I had to laugh out loud at some of these. I bet they weren't well received by the pilots though!


jewelzmomof4 said...

"hammer removed from midget"....HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA I love it!!!!

Pix said...

These are too too funny! Must show to CH!